The Friendzone Isn't As Bad As You Think

For my first post, I will go over everyone has faced and that everyone can relate to...
The Friend Zone.
I will try to censor my language as best I can.

No one likes it, it's essentially the landfill that every girl (or guy) tosses the unwanted. And that's what it feels like being there; a landfill. I recently just ended up there myself, and it's not cool. You feel like that person of your infatuation could have been yours, if you had only made the right choices. In some cases it doesn't matter what choices you make, maybe you just didn't get there in time, and when you did s/he already had her lover. What makes it worse is that you're friends, so you will always be just close enough to barely taste bliss but that bliss will always be just out of your reach; you'll always hear her talk about his hair and sometimes see them making out just as you enter the room; you will always be driven to see her and talk to her even though it's too painful to even begin to think about. You like to think you will let go or have already gotten over them but deep down you will always wish things to be different. It's limbo.

But...It doesn't ever have to be as bad as you think. I always hear people say that the friend zone is terrible. But as I've been rejected indirectly, I've come around a few times and realized some things about the friend zone. The major thing though that I have to stress, it's better than being a boyfriend or girlfriend. Hear me out; when I explain you will understand everything. It's not as bad as it seems once you've been there for a while. Think about it; the person you love will always be there, friends don't give up on each other as easily as exes do. Where when you date someone and eventually break up, because you know it will happen eventually, you will most likely go separate ways and forget each other. My first girlfriend and I are still best friends but it was just fortunate circumstances that kept it that way. But if you're friends with her without having dated her, then you can form a bind that may not be quite as close as you want but she'll always love you like a friend and never abandon you, you will always get to be with her and you will never drift apart like the exes do. If you can keep it normal and don't confess your feelings outright, she will also never find it awkward to talk to you like she would if you had dated and then separated. Even when she's married she will always see you as being close to her heart, the way you feel about your best friend, and while she will think other people are just coming on to her, you can always look at how gorgeous she is and tell her how smart and funny you think she can be without her seeming like you're attracted to her, that you're just a friend complimenting her. Plus you will always get to see her and talk to her. Think about what would happen if you dated and then broke up; like I said, it would be pretty awkward, and you may have lost even harder when you can't see her anymore.

Another perk is that while you will still always be jealous of her newest boyfriend you will never have to be paranoid about her leaving you. As I said she will not leave you behind if she was even worth loving in the first place, where as when you're dating you will always be looking over your shoulder at every chance, trying to intimidate other guys that talk to her, be afraid she will leave you and when she eventually does you will feel greater pain than any friend zone ever could. If that's how you got there in the first place than it will still be alright if you don't make stupid decisions like try to get back together with her, and instead try to just be there for her when she needs you. Anyways, whether you were rejected or dumped, once you're there you never have to worry about being replaced or not being good enough, because a friend can't be measured to one another. Crushes and sweethearts can out way each other in chemistry, but if you act like a best friend you will always be a best friend and nothing less. You also never have to get stuck in drama. You can't really cheat on a friend because you can have more than one, unlike boyfriends and girlfriends (except for Arabic men, they're so lucky...) and if you have some flaw she doesn't like, who cares she isn't dating you! If she were, she would worry about that flaw so much it would kill the relationship in time. My best friend knows I have immense depression, but she always is there to help, where as my girlfriend was always concerned that it might affect our love. It didn't much, we just moved to different schools, but you understand what I mean.

And in the end you will still be just nigh of her lover. You'll get to see her more, you'll always be able to have fun with her, you will always get the same amount of love a boyfriend would have if you make the right choices and be careful of what you tell her of your feelings, even if it's the strong love best friends have instead of puppy love. Maybe you can even get that kiss you always dreamed of, just not on the lips, and you can always give her a long and powerful hug if she isn't afraid of being touched like a few of my friends (thankfully my ex isn't one of them). So with this in mind, does it still seem like you'd rather be her lover? Of course you'll still want to rip his head off when he touches your could-have-been, and you will always look back and shed a few tears at the warmth you used to feel, but when you look at now, the way she talks to you, the way she will always come to you and no one else about her emotional problems, the way she will always ask you to come over and play video games instead of her ex, does it seem so bad to be considered a friend?

Look at any friend you have. You trust them, you love them, you know they will have your back even when the drama sets in, especially if they're worth keeping around. She will always think you're worth it if you make her feel that way, which is easy when you aren't being a total dick to her, huge friend breaking issues like drugs not withstanding. She will always trust you after every break up, she will always look to your shoulder to cry on. In time it will become creepy for you to even think about kissing her on the lips; I am so thankful now that I'm not with her, she's into pegging as I realized, and I just don't even feel sorry for her new boyfriend anymore.

So there you have it. Take this information with butter, not all of it will work with some people. But if you've just been rejected, then give it a while, maybe a month or two, then come back and listen to what I have said, and you will soon start to feel better. There's definitely more to it than what I've said here, for better or for worse, and if you have anything to add then there's a comment box below, I won't reply if I don't need to. I'm sure you will figure out what's best for you for yourself.

This has been Quinn, your friendly neighborhood Surgeon (Medicare not accepted).

Welcome to the Real World

Hello everybody, and welcome to The Real World, a dim reality where your so-called problems have only just begun. But they don't have to...thanks to your friendly neighborhood Surgeon (Medicare not accepted). This blog of mine is inspired to change the world through the only way I know how; the Inter webs! I will address anything, from hot debates like gun control to things everyone deals with day-to-day like relationship issues or what to do while waiting for the nth episode of Attack on Titan, to things that I just can't stand. Be prepared for some lash though, I have no discretion and will bash anything I think deserves it, roast every debate, analyze every thing you desire. I take requests, but will post my own topics whenever I can. And yes, before anyone asks, this is a Nerd Blog.